Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
