I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
