Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
