Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
