Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
