And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
