All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think my nap took me to another dimension
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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