We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
