But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
