Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
