If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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