Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
