I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
A+ Viking dick
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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