Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
