Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
