Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
