ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
