I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
