well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
