There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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