What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
