Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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