I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
