I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
please come you make the beer taste better
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
