puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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