i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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