you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
