We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My vagina just clenched in fear
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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