so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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