watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
