a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
