she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
