Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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