When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
