My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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