Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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