I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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