Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
