good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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