He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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