i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
