we have officially lost it.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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