Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
