He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
