Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
