I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
