white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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