She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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