Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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