I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
